Greetings on this the The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed
(All Souls)
Readings: Wis 3:1-9; PS 23:1-3a, 3b-4, 5, 6; Rom 6:3-9; Jn 6:37-40
Wedding Preparation
Nobody enters marriage a perfect person or a perfect spouse-to-be. We come to love our spouses imperfections as perfections – if not day one, then eventually! There are four things that should be on the mind of the engaged couple that – weighed properly – brings about courage and confidence in the marriage to come.
All Souls and marriage preparation share something profound.
Preparing for marriage is a voluntary purgation (purification or cleansing.) Since today is All Souls day (remembering all those who have gone before us and may be going through purgatory – that the divine mercy speed along their healing), it fits nicely.
You, engaged one, are in a voluntary purgation.
What are the four things, then? Be mindful these are things in balance. Each of them need be present in some degree but not perfectly and in some cases strengths offset weaknesses but not entirely.
The Four Things
Freely, Fully, Faithfully, and Fruitfully. Skipping any discussion on impediments – Divine or Ecclesiastical Law – as not in scope for this voluntary purgation homily.
Freely
To enter into a successful marriage one must enter into the marriage freely. Or as freely as their state of life allows them. Free from unhealthy entanglements, free from coercion, free from addictions/obsessions and free from a false choice (the lesser of two evils choice). There are many examples of these things. You must be Free To Love. Are you free to love and free from influence that forces your hand to marry? Lord Jesus, free me!
Fully
To enter into a successful marriage one must enter into the marriage fully. No carve-outs for other things. What is due your spouse is due your spouse and no other thing or person or place. Disordered attachment that by itself is a danger to the marriage must be identified and/or removed. Detachment? No! Disordered attachment is the only problem. Fully can overcome lack of freely. Lord Jesus, all of me!
Faithfully
Perhaps we can use synonyms to help understand: constant, loyal, resolute, staunch, and steadfast. Our faithfulness to the Other of ourselves is a determined, constant effort daily, weekly, and yearly effort at being free, full and fruitful. Faithfully can bring about fully and freely. Lord Jesus, constantly me!
Fruitfully
I will take the first example as the primary to keep the mind in a good place. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). The fruit of the Spirit enables us to eliminate spiritual barrenness. Your marriage is founded upon the gifts of the Holy Spirit and reflect these same gifts in abundance as your marriage progresses. So the question is, Do you and can you intend to live a life of fruitfulness? Lord Jesus, the best me!
Fruitfulness is also about bearing children or in other cases aiding in the raising of children either familial or in community helping society. This is usually stated first but actually raising children with fruitful spirits is so much more!
Fruitfully is a state-of-mind and attitude at first but a rich blessing to all during the rest of your life. Fruitful is a natural outcome of freely, fully and faithfully. Starting with a fruitful heart can overcome lacking quantity of freedom, fullness and faithfulness.
Beautiful Imperfection
As you can see you must self-assess the balance of these conditions and determine in the overall if you are ready. Here is the really neat part. All these things can be weak and in the grace of God be built up. But one must not start there as a default setting or be willfully ignorant. We must not be satisfied with our weakness as God’s work alone.
It is our work to do. To prepare. To prugate. To make as strong as possible these things so needed for a happy marriage.
Summary Reflection
Purgatory is a voluntary, love impelled change. We meet, we fall in love and then do everything we can to do to be worthy of this love. So as to present my best self in response to love.
Thus the meaning of purgtory. There is pain in cutting out addictions, or giving up disordered attachments – sometimes very painful. But always with love, for love, in love.
Help All Souls, Lord, in their quest for love, to be love, and become free at last to see your face. Not because you deny them. Because they want first to deny themselves of anything less. Amen.
Sacred Readings
Full text: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/110224.cfm
First Reading
The souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them.
Responsorial
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
Second Reading
For a dead person has been absolved from sin. If, then, we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him.
Gospel Acclamation (see Mt 25:34)
Come, you who are blessed by my Father; inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
Gospel
Jesus said to the crowds: “Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and I will not reject anyone who comes to me.
Peace be with you,
Deacon Gerry